Tulips. Two lips.
The tulips are red, a darker crimson towards the stem, as if they have been cut and are beginning to heal there.
Apparently just not yet.
your breath was courage laced with alcohol
History Night was awesome; The epic t4 video that secretly made even the boys sad inside:
VIEW ALL PHOTOS ON FLICKR (therefore non restrictive to facebook users), includes rehearsal photos.
and bleed this skyline dry
I hate the way once people start to associate themselves with things I used to love; music, lines of poetry to write in the margins of lecture notes, lyrics for breathing into lovers’ ears; the restraint of Gary Lightbody’s voice- they decompose into replusive nothingness before me.
Nels once said I had issues by pushing people away just as they try to connect with me. Well I suppose. I hate being part of something that has separate meanings to you to two different sets of people. Like kisses.
I have a $1.2k cheque in my pocket made out for GP tuition. Results tomorrow. History night in 4 days, and a million more till I reconcile with my soul.
yup, yes, yeah
This is it honey. This is where I end and the A levels begin. Where I have to decide between lit and PPE for the 4th of November, where I will systematically erase everything we’ve built up for this last shot at greatness. But then again we’ve not picked up anything we’ve left off for so long that the winter that blew threw my heart burried your footprints hungrily in the snow.
1. Buy film
2. Now the thought of you is burnt on my body- from the first time you did rewind that line from Hallelujah. The original Leonard Cohen version.
3. History night is on Saturday (!!)
4. 2 more weeks to MIs. At least its at VJ and not some obscure place in the West.
5. The tape in the cassette deck was choking. Spat out a broken hallelujah.
6. Yoke speculates that CT results are tomorrow. The only reason why I’m lazy is because it hurts even more when you actually put in effort and still fail.
7. Only GP tuition can save me now.
8. I need to chew on hard gummies; like the way I would like to masticate fragments of your benediction. Cartharsis.
9. Camelia, I am very very sad. 
10. !
there is still a lot of me for you
(my friends will say its not true)
I have half of the history night video left to do, and it has already overexceeded the time limit Hazel set me, sigh. But I am going to bed now, and maybe when I wake up, my case for tomorrow would miraculously be written.
It’s only the weekend left. Before what? I told myself to waste this week away doing everything I wanted to for the entire year till December cos after this; after this I grow up.
I will spend my 18th birthday in an exam hall. Even the rainy days of sitting at starbucks racing raindrops and math equations seem a distant childhood that belong in the memory box at the back of my head that would soon be displaced by Ricardo and Machiavelli.
(Its not as if I can seek refuge in your heart anymore.)
So I would capture smiles, however bad my webcam is- (Sab showed me her comfort the other night, it is made of satin and fairy dust.) Today, at rehearsal:
i’m coming up only to hold you under
i’m coming up only to show you wrong
When the life in your eyes wants black
Things return
You’ve come back
With your body and mine raised up
It’s good to see you once more
Once more.
It feels good to come across gorgeous old photos when clearing out an old computer: Jo, march 2008
and you’re turning black tables
Now we are older and
Things disappeared somehow
And I was thinking that maybe
We’d stand a better chance If we met today
I find myself talking to sharks
On my way to an island and stillI adore you
I adore you
I love shooting in film because, more than anything else, I get to anticipate, like exam results, how the shots come out. I don’t get to see the first shot till I’m done with the last and go down to Triple D (at the building that reminds Mariam of a Richard Simmons workout video from the 1980s) and collect the photos in an envelope. They’re like gems to slowly unfold- I always always duck into the Burger King beside it and slip the photos out from its bag-
I didn’t realise I always hold my breath when I do that till the last time. The delayed gratification beats digital cameras anyday, even if photos that Mark and John left me in it as a surprise didn’t come out cos the lighting in the canteen is really bad. But regardless of the blur few that will come out, there are little precious pictures that turn out just gorgeous.
Like wildflowers.
General Paper saw 96.2% pass and 17% obtain Distinctions. The national average is only 91.8%
History (H2) was sensational with 52.3% obtaining Distinctions and in History H1 it was 42.9%.
Both were way above the national average of 39.6% and 27% respectively.Literature maintained its usually high grades with 99.3% passing and 37% obtaining Distinctions
Economics also saw a significant increase in grades with 57.5% obtaining A/B grades.
Read entire result postings here
I am seriously, seriously proud of my seniors, especially the History students for 52.3% distinctions in history! I know the percentage for lit has dipped a little and I’m also slowly losing confidence in lit (and everything else, but its just lit most) but I passed my A level Chinese, so anything is possible. And and and congrats Calvin (Omnipotent God of Full Marks GP AQ Senior Calvin Sir) and Adriel!
And that’s it. I have no more loopholes for grades below As anymore. Its awesome how my combi did so well and yet theres so much pressure to do even better. I want that string of As. I really really do.
Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
Fab FSV photo of Sab on facebook!
CJC track, tomorrow at PE we will pwnzx you.
The only thing that can get you through 3.8km at MacRichie and then the approximate 4km walk back from MacRichie to CJC is fab friends. Nat, I’m so proud of our T4 walkers club!
Nationals in exactly a month, we finalised our lineup today, with me whispering over the phone to Ms Fernandez while at the library- i wake up in the morning but my soul I leave behind under the duvet where it is nice and snuggly and math cannot get me. Our draw for round 1 is scaring the heck out of me, sigh.
CTs in 3 days.
Even photos from last year are like anachronisms, my world is now the drained repeated tasks and lectures and tutorials like the flaccid rubber of having all the air being let out of a balloon. This feels like the way your mouth does when you’ve not had any water for hours and your saliva is coagualting in your mouth and your tongue is stuck to the roof of your throat.
Tomorrow is results day and I get to see all my seniors again, and the letter etched under my name that will determine if I have to do chinese for another year. I hope I’m on the right side of the bell curve.
said maybe,
you’re gonna be the one that saves me
Filed under: future future future perfect | Tags: HP Mini Vivienne Tam, IwantHP
you’re gorgeous when you blush
like a wildflower
I want this HP Designer laptop because… I promise I promise I promise I will never ever ever slam out homework and essays anymore on this pretty little baby, but treat each word and every letter like flower buds, bringing them up to full bloom.
It is blushing and gorgeous like a lazy autumn morn and smells sharp and sweet as cinnamon. Oh! That one could capture so much beauty in a gadget (you say bigger is better but this mini lappy goes miles beyond your wildest dreams), even its design of a thousand peony lips are like little secrets hidden between lines of poetry to slowly unfold on its ruby keys;
I can’t wait to wax lyrical on this beauty- its amazing how such aesthetics can bring so much awe-inspiring literature student madness, that I can carry around without further stunting my 4.8foot frame! And gosh the delicate assimilation of east and west and red and gold and bold yet whimsical sighs;
how delicate ! This must be more than just an electronic device, it lives and breathes oriental feminism yet brazen beauty of crimson red lipstick. It is a whole new way of life to my poetry.
And like it says on its keyboard, out with the old stuffy ways of slaving through Shakespeare after Dickinson after Bronte, but
enter 
(double happiness) !
by the pulchritude of their souls
make up what is wanting in the beauty of their bodies
[update] In the spirit of the whole gagety thing, I’m getting the Nokia L’Amour 7373 to replace my W910i, because I can only work best when everything matches in perfect balance- my phone, my pencil case, the Vivienne Tam for HP- these are the tools with which i write and try to connect words like little neuron sparks to your soul; I am a poet, and this is my free verse in techonogy (,yet how delicate, this harmony).
